What Would Jesus Buy?

heaven, revisited

a couple of friends and I watched this recently - myself for the umpteenth time, the ladeez for the first time. the deep swoon that ensued was complete. I maintain .. despite all the gorjus flicks seen since first discovering this jewel .. that it's one of the best films ever made. while your love stories are thick on the ground, soulmates rarely get a look in. and even when they do, they're usually all treacle and yearning ... twilight style. this is soulmate discovery for grown ups. no yearning, no mooning (full, eclipsed, or otherwise), no Crazy Wild Sex (there is wild sex, but the setting adds the wild, not the sweat), just complete and galvanizing realisation of something so profound that it transcends the most awful and terminal of events. no happy ending, but the most beautiful ending imaginable.

what $15k can buy

picked this one up with the montreals t' other day. watched, was gently impressed by the authenticity of it all, then took the time to read up on it just cause it was ... you know ... different. yet again, youngish dude (this time a pom) writes, directs, and does all the CGI on his home computer. two actors (who are apparently a real life couple - cast for that reason), the rest of the cast locals with zero acting experience, and a total budget of $15,ooo. un-fkn-believable. especially when help up against 'avatar'. it should be added that it's not really about the monsters. well, it is and it isn't. in effect they barely get a look in. if the monsters are the monsters. anyway, you get the drift.

creepiness & cat ladies

the next installment in my accidental montreal film festival ... spare, blackly funny, well cast mystery thing. noir-ish and well done, if you like your thrillers remote and inexplicable. I do, and did :)

non-subliminal message to lurking fleas

BOO!

love, imagined

picked this one up on a whim yesterday, feeling that while it would probably be dire, poseur nonsense, at least it was in Fronch :p man o man was I wrong. tres wrong. an absolute jewel of a flick. at first glance easy to pass off as a pretentious homage to style without substance, but full focus rewards with meat and potatoes galore. superbly acted, one of the best scores I've heard in ages, and wonderful cinematography. superb use of colour and arthouse references galore for the eagle-eyed. I almost drowned in it :D worth noting ... and this is no Small Thing, you might want to take a seat ... it was written, directed and performed by the same dude - at the age of 21. one xavier dolan, quebecoire auteur and child genius. evidently. rent it and roll around in the marvellousness. oh yeah, the theme is unrequited love, and I think, the idea of the object of passion as cipher. one's youth revisited, in other words :)

And so it is nearly Christmas

And we all know that it is the silly season, so as such before I get swept up with all the hooha that goes with it all I thought that I would send my thoughts and well wishes to you all.
Merry Christmas
Stay safe and well

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS - Review

Hey, this is gorgeous. The Wallace and Grommit folk had a bit to do with it. Very funny, very fast paced. Just when you think the US were the last word on good animation with Toy Story 3....voiceovers from Hugh Laurie (Steve) and the ever present and adorable Jim Broadbent (Santa) are almost upstaged by Bill Nighy (Grand Santa) and Imelda Staunton (Mrs Santa). Its not a case of taking kids to a kids movie and coping, you'll have lots of fun yourself with this one. Sis and I took 5 kids including an 18 month old and a 2 year old. We sat at the back of the cinema, earning the gratitude of the rest of the patrons, and our 5 year olds fought with each other all the way through....they loved it. Go, have fun :D

slam

that was my window of opportunity closing for the hols. suffice to say, more malcontents to be drummed up to replace joel and jonesy asap. stand by. hiya chris and marie, hiya latish posters, hiya uh-mericans, hi little nipply badgers :D see yaz when kids allow access to puter :/

I Still Miss ColdAngel....

...if anyone hears from him, let him know we found some Christmas Badgers for him

Chris and Marie mosaic lantern Adv for Plant Nursery

I have insomnia.

WTF???? Mark 2

Act 1 of the Drama: I've been trying to work out why I can only view 3 posts at the moment. Anyone have any idea? If I want to look at all of the posts from today I need to do extra clicking and they're all already stored under 'older posts'. Much love to whoever made the change, but it's a little over efficient... I like reading lots of posts & i'm lazy..if they're archived I'll never get to them. It seems weird to be already archiving stuff from today, too...I dont have any posts up past the current Viggo, who's gorgeous, but shouldnt be the last word on Thurs 15th Dec....

Act 2 of the Drama: I've tried to go into Design and change it back, but i cant work out how.

Act 3, With a Twist: Whilst searching for a way to change it back, i came upon an odd little piece of latin text in our blog. Thusly:
Lorem ipsum vim ut utroque mandamus intellegebat, ut eam omittam ancillae sadipscing, per et eius soluta veritus. ...

Act 4: So i googled it. It means: This command was aware of both the force of that, to say nothing of her handmaid, including, by fearing and his loosed. ...
Apparently it's dummy text and the history of it is here:
http://www.lipsum.com/

Which is all very interesting.
But I still dont know why I can only view 3 posts from today at one time.
Can anyone change it back, please?

hmmmm

I blame the lily-livered gaines.

statistically speaking

just checked stats for this week, after not having looked at 'em for months ... and it appears we have more uh-mericans perving than strayans. how do we account for this? are we not insulting them enough or something? hiya uh-merigos :D

Hi Guys!

Sorry I have not been around much lately, 'it' has been a madhouse, I have had half a day of rest so I thought I should check in. I will try and get a chance to read and reply to posts before Christmas, but if I miss peoples who have already left on holidays or their kidlets are home soon and therefore cannot get on here, have an awesome break!

Chris and Marie neighbours begonne PLANT NURSERY 730neig

Like I was saying, Chris and Marie. Nude.

oranges

yesterday ... and yeah I know this is totally not kosher, but he made me do it ... the toolkit and I ventured into the nearest "fruit" superstore. you see toolsworth had privately workshopped the idea of podding our spawn this festivus - much to my quell horreueueuer and surprise. the whole setup is designed with one thing in mind ... brainwashing. get 'em hard, and get 'em young, should be their motto. the minute you trepidatiously crossed the threshold, wondering all the while if indeed you really want to enter a place so patently and slickly designed to confound the over 25s and delight the under 15s, a red clad under 25 bounds up to you with an ear to ear grin and carries on like a right pork chop .. just as though he was your BFF fo-eva! I found myself wanting to scream back at our red fool, my frown as fierce as his grin, "WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK OFF!" instead I smiled politely and pretended I couldn't speak english. in other words, left him to toolshed. the minute he bounded off I muttered all sorts of colourfuls in the general direction of the co-parent, to the effect that none of it was worth the sheer pain of being in such a place. have any of you been into one of these dens of craziness? there is no 'counter', nor cash registers, nor any sign of any sort of moneyed transaction being possible or indeed, wanted. they go to huge lengths to make it seem almost as though it's just friends exchanging gizmos and 'learning together'. there are plenty of apparent 'workstations', and get this ... no seats. anywhere. just bank after bank of stand up tables covered with tethered fruit. and of course, 40,000 glassy eyed nerds. I hated it, with sugar on top. sorry steve.

Bizarre Chinese Old-folks Choir Covers Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"

Found by husby the piano man for your edification...

website review: Scambaiting sites!

I'm an old fashioned gal. The scambaiting sites have probably been around for at least a decade. You lot are probably all au fait with them. I've only discovered them this week, tho...

So. Basic idea is that there are folk out there with time on their hands, who actually answer the scamming emails from Nigerians seeking help transferring funds/bequeathing deceased estates/winning lotteries and all the rest of it. Did you realise that those scams are still generating millions of dollars? (one account I read stated that it's still a $12 million industry). I get lots of em in my spam box and delete them. But there are scam baiters out there, replying to the scammers, stringing them along, and some of them are very funny.

Fave highlights for me:

The Julia Ngume letters on 419baiter.com :
http://www.419baiter.com/games/juliangume.html
this thread comes with a warning, eg dont open it at work, as there are topless photos and some obscene language. But very funny- scambaiter poses as several characters, including Reverend Stu Pidass and his secretary Potty Latrine, who eventually murders the Rev and emails the scammers that she's coming over with his cash. The baiter actually convinces the scammers to pierce their nipples for them and send photos. Had me laughing out loud.

Scamorama:
http://www.scamorama.com/
This website was set up in 2002 and still updates every month with new scambaiting threads. Many faves here....baiters convincing scammers to post THEM cash, promising to arrive at airports then sending journos to take photos of scammers waiting at airports in South Africa, holding up placards for 'Rev Wally Tightnuts'...very funny


I do feel a little sorry for the scammers, even if they are managing $12 million a year. Some of them are very easily tricked and their grasp of english isnt too good. A lot of the scam baiters take full advantage of the pidgin english/cultural differences to insult the scammers in every way possible, leading to scammers sending threats such as 'I will use my African Juju to Kill you There in Your Country'and "I will set my village herbalist onto you'. I'm giggling, but sitting here in my airconditioned house with running water, a fully stocked kitchen, a car, mp3 player, dvd and tv....seems a bit mean to spend too much energy laughing at desperate folk who arent very bright.


But it's still a bit funny. And it's still worth a read occasionally. Dont think I'll ever become a scambaiter tho. Not unless i find someone scamming for electrolytes and dipping sauces.

Review: Jean Cocteau's La Belle et La Bete 1949

All this Twilighting has got me thinking...of other days, other Belles....so much complaining about bad role models, so many people saying that Bella and her Twilight romance is giving young women the wrong message....

The reason it's so powerful is that it's been ingrained in the hoooman psyche for centuries, n'est pas? Young beautiful woman, sighing, heavy with sensual, unfulfilled promise...the danger of deadly love, the threat of bestial violence, the tender, bestial lover...hmm, so very familiar.

Once upon a time, a beautiful young woman sacrificed her freedom so that her father would live, and in the world of the story this was of course the right thing to do. Then, in what may have been the first ever romanticised documentation of Stockholm Syndrome, she falls in love with her beast...so redeeming him and transforming him into a handsome prince....

My feminist leanings cannot blind me to the fact that Jean Cocteau's 1949 b&w "La Belle et La Bete is a masterpiece. An artist created the film's enchanted castle set, long before computer animated graphics came along and threatened to take the magic away. Surreal, beautiful, merci Cocteauxxxx you have redeemed the beast for me....

ps our copy is an old video from the 80s, with a very young David Stratton introducing and doing a bit of a spiel. Marvellous! He still had white hair and bad teeth :D

La Belle et La Bête (4/9)

...review above

this is for wilma. potted twilight, now that we're at the end of the road.

saved you all that reading and dvd renting :p

dear o dearie me

this, I think, was something of an attempt at 'notes on a scandal', period style. and while the setting and the clobber were thoroughly marvy, the story was awful. that is to say, it was badly told. and to make matters worse, it's evidently some oversexed man's idea of heaven. putrescent and patently male focus on the hot-housed festering lesbianism of your 1930's remote and religious boarding school ... complete with nude moonlit swims and stunning, highly risque school marms. natch. 2/10.

My fave for the morning courtesy of awkwardfamilyphotos.com

...as the note with this photy over at www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com reads,

It's hard to upstage the tree.

Rightio. I'll stop now.

awkwardfamilyphotos.com is hands down my fave site....

bless, oh, bless....

I searched the web for some Christmas Viggo....

....and this is the best i could come up with.

Merry Christmas Ten Forward...

a wander down memory lane

as you biscuits might be aware, smokey and I have spent a fair bit of time of late cavorting in amidst the uh-mericans over in that other place. smokey has changed his clobber once or twice, and might be a bit hard to find, such is the way of our inhouse PR dept. I'm still in the same underpants. anyhoo ... where was I?

I may be stating the bleeding obvious, and I'm not religious, but Christ....

There's no Christ in Christmas anymore, is there?
I needed a little Christmas ornament for work. Holy family/nativity theme, thinking maybe a snowglobe or somesuch, hardy enough for little kids to look at and handle whilst a group of em sing Silent Night.

I went to EVERY $2 Shop in the Nongys and the closest shopping complexes in Knox and Boronia. Targets, Kmarts galore. Lots of Santa, lots of snowmen, plenty of reindeer ears for the taking.
I found ducks with santa hats; I found Hippos sitting on stacks of gifts, but Baby Jesus just musnt be a big seller, because he was noooowhere to be seen.

Eventually I googled and it took me about 15 minutes to find a store about 20 minutes away that stocked little ceramic nativity ornaments, just right for putting on a tree or letting kids handle. So I drove there. Gracious me. Did you know that there are christian megastores out there? The place was full of holy sh*t, only a small portion of it Christmas related....

Feeling chatty, I told the chappie behind the counter about my encounters with festive zoo creatures in Santa hats, etc etc. he glared at me and said in a loud evangelical tone 'well, this is a Christian store. You wont find any of that here' (you could hear the italics). So I fled before he asked me to repent. But I got my Chrissy ornament. (And he got my money.) All is calm, all is bright :p

another year, but not just another codger flick

revoo

'another year' I generally steer well clear of 'autumn years' subject matter, because ... well, just because. and because I don't want to spend my limited ennertainment budget on watching codgers codgitate on what little remains of their lives. and I certainly don't want to a) watch, nor b) think about, codgers with their juices up. so you can imagine my reticence about picking this one up this past weekend. still, something about the cast, or the packarging, or some other small voicey thing pushed me past the "DON'T GO THERE" onboard alert system. and wasn't I glad that happened? yes I was :). a loverly mike leigh flick, yes, about codgers .. but these codgers are only gently so (mid 60's) and are ex-hippies so all's well. no codger sex, neither, thank the saints. a gorgeously wrought character piece well worth the trouble. 9/10. will stick a toob trailer atop this blurb.

everyone? anyone?

To the ex tenners

Birdie is at it again with his Xmas letters to BP on the 7pm project forum. If you are looking for a little bit of a laugh, check them out. http://community.ten.com.au/community/7pm_project/f/120/t/37743.aspx

in or out?

if you were building a deck to one side of house, and installing fabby vintage french doors to same, would you have doors opening out onto deck, or inwards, as per your traditional exterior door? doors are on parliament hinges, so can be strapped back out of the way when open. I'm all for out opening, as one can utilise inside walls more fullsomely for furnishings et al. have just given the nod to chippies on same, but had a moment of ?

six packs and puppy dogs

Movie Review - Twilight - Breaking Dawn Part 1

Alright first up let me say how bad I am at reviews.... but here it goes.

On the weekend me and a group of us gals went to the cinemas (only my second time this year) and it was decided that we watch the current Twilight movie. In the past I have always waited for it to come out of DVD just because I don't want to have to listen to teens going "OMG Edward" or "OMG Jacob" throughout the movie. I already know that Team Jacob is the only side that you need to be on. Thankfully the cinema wasn't too full so those kind of comments where kept to a dull roar.

Bella and Edward get hitched and to be honest it lacked chemistry for me, but then I have always thought that those 2 characters were poorly cast as they never did much for me as a couple. I did however like Bella's wedding dress, if only I have the figure to pull off such a dress myself. Jacob looked a lot hotter than in previous movies and even my friends who were misguidedly Team Edward at the start of the movie admitted to being converted by the end.

For anyone who has read the books, the movie wasn't too far different. Well no more so than normal when you are comparing books to movies. The honeymoon island was beautiful and while it has received bad reviews about how they portrayed Bella being pregnant I still didn't consider it to be too bad. I mean let's face it, what part of it at all was normal, so it didn't really matter to me that she looked odd.

The one part that did stand out for me was the birth. I don't mind a little blood, but IMO it was overkill. I actually felt squeamish watching it all. That and then the way that they depicted Bella turning into a vampire just made my skill crawl a little. I think it was more that I was still trying to get over the whole blood thing that made it harder for me to watch.

I found the fight scene between the Wolves and Vampires at the end a little unbelievable, but then I guess working on a green screen can have that effect. Overall I didn't think that it was a bad movie. If you watch it at the cinema, wait a little as there is a preview to the next movie (part 2) that is a little bit of a teaser.

Bitchy girly grump. Opinions please...

its moments like this I'm glad this blog is anonymous....
So. here's the story:
I have a gaggle of gal pals. There's 4 of us who haunted the streets of Fitzroy in our late twenties/early thirties, and it was all a bit Sex In the City.
Flash forward to 2011. 3 out of 4 of us are married. I'm the only one with kids. One (lets call her Maddie) is on IVF and has been frantic to have kids for about 10 years. One (Lets call her Josie)is happily married, a busy artist and determined never to let ankle biters blight her path; she doesnt really like 'em. One (how about Sammy)is cheerfully independent, artistic and currently single, but has had a crap year, with tons of health and personal whammies coming her way.
Now, Sammy's birthday falls a cuppla days before Christmas. For about 15 years, this has meant a gathering at Sammy's house, about an hour out of town- sometimes dozens of us, sometimes only a few. Almost always the 4 gals tho.
I get a call from Sammy today. "I'd love you to all come up" she says. But you cant get away to stay overnight without the kids that close to Christmas- can you?"
I'm a little surprised. This has never been requested before."Well", I say, "it would be easier if we all came up together...I wasnt planning on staying with you, Sammy. We were going to drop in tho. Husby and I were going to share the driving home".
"I'm seeing Maddie today" she says. "I'll give you a call after that."
Oooookay.
So I get another call. From Maddie. Maddie's bossy. Maddie has just invited herself and her husband on our family holiday after Christmas, but that's another story...
"I've just been talking with Sammy" she announces, "and she's had a crap year, and she wants a quiet birthday. So I was thinking that my husband and I drive you to her house, then we drop you off at the train station the next day and you can catch a train back to the Dandenongs"
".....did Sammy ask you to call me and tell me this?" I ask.
"...not exactly, I just think she's had a crap year, and she's still not well, and the kids will be too much for her" she says. " And Josie wants it to be just us, but my husband has to be there because we're staying overnight and driving into central Victoria the next day."
.................................................................................
I'm trying to keep my patience.
I get that people who dont have kids dont always like them around. I get that.
If this Maddie chick finally has her much wanted bubby, I can promise you the kid will be going EVERYWHERE with her. And she'll raise hell with anyone trying to dictate otherwise.

I think that there really is one wacking huge line in the sand between people without kids and people with them, sometimes.
Its not that time without kids isnt fun- it is (eg my short trip to Brissy this year...)
I wouldnt dream of asking another Mum to dump her family just before Christmas.
...anyone else with kidlets ever been told to leave them at home?

Latest atrocities from the Innovations catalogue

* This is a group email my dear husby composed and sent out in the spirit of Christmas cheer this week.
He asks, nay, INSISTS that we continue to be sent the Innovations catalogue.
For those not in the know, it's a catalogue of Stuff. Some of it's pretty funny. See below:

Yes, Christmas is nearly upon us again. Thank goodness for the Innovations
catalogue which never fails to provide distinctive gift ideas. As their
masthead
proudly boasts, their products are "Unique, Unusual, Different" - have Cath and
Kim opened an advertising agency??

The latest Christmas catalogue does not disappoint, combining ugliness with
stupidity as only Innovations can. I have selected the top three items for
those
hard-to-buy-for relatives or friends.

1. Pet owners rejoice. Now you can imprison your best friend inside this
tasteful end table every time visitors arrive. Serve tea directly over its
head as it lies sullenly, just waiting for small fingers to poke between the
bars. If the constant whimpering and whining begins to hamper conversation, you
have only to wait for Innovations to bring out the special detachable sound-
proofing baffles (for that total "Papillon" experience). The only problem with
this product is that once your pet has experienced the horror of this canine
Changi, it will never again enter of its own free will. It is then necessary to
purchase the portable fencing to guide it to its doom, and a Rottweiler to chase
it in. Unfortunately, you will then need a second end table for the
Rottweiler, and Innovations have not yet explained how it is to be coaxed in
without significant blood loss on the part of the owner (You). Stay tuned for
developments in the next catalogue.

2. Wow! A faux ivy screen. I have spent the last 11 years trying to keep ivy
from invading and strangling my property, and now I have the solution. If I
mount these screens all along my fenceline, the real ivy will think my block is
already infested and move on next door. Brilliant. It is comforting to know
that they are weather-resistant as well. Isn't it?

3. Finally. A strong, light, pretty floral aluminium collapsible walking stick
in a bag. For those unexpected times when you just feel a bit crippled. The
cheerful pattern takes all the misery out of immobility and as soon as you can
hobble down to your local fundamentalist church for a healing, the stick
conveniently folds back down into its bag for future use. Brilliant.

I sincerely hope this solves all your shopping problems for the year. Merry
Christmas.

Aria Awards 2011

...anyone watch em? I hear they were on Go.
I didnt
Here are my thorts anyways:
- Boy & Bear: i only know who they are because Betty posted one of their vids here. Which means: a)I'm now officially an old fart and i just dont know whats happening in music anymore; b) Betty is this blog's It Girl, reader of the tides, etc etc; or c) both

- Altiyan Childs won highest selling album: the state of album sales in this country must be pucked

- I read somewhere that they've only just inducted Wiggles into the Hall of Fame this year. What were they waiting for. And Wiggles won Kids Album or Dvd or something for Ukelele Baby. Which was well deserved; it's a permanent fave here at home. Played a lot more often than Boy and Bear or Altiyan, I can tell you.

if you have kids who dream of fame, show them this

now I can't guarantee that this exercise won't backfire, because it might. hell, your little ones might take one look, leap onto the sofa and shout "THAT'S FOR MOI!". if this happens, wait for a day when they're fed up with rehearsals, or their choir teacher, or some other such related irritant, then show it to 'em again :D

reeveyew

hmm, hmmm, well, this isn't for everyone. for starters it's about the world's greatest torero, 'Manolete', so that counts out your animal rights peeps, it's set in 1940's, so lovers of the contemporary need not apply, it's arthouse, so those who like their tucker bland and spoon fed - leave the room. ok, now that there's just us, I can say a thing or three. this is one of those flicks that studio put on a shelf for ... would you believe, 5 years. never released in cinemas, now on new release dvd. shot in espana, spanish cast apart from ade brody, in english ... and there's your first problem. I really, REALLY don't like to see non-english happenings in english. makes it very hard to suspend disbelief. further problems abound, but in amongst the flaws ... and like I said, there are plenty, there is some very fine art. beautiful, even. and of course, who can go past mr brody for performances. the man is probably the best actor on the planet, or one of the best few at any rate. penny cruz is bombshelly but broken and fragile and other angsty stuff. worth a look for, if nothing else, ade's arse in those duds :p

torn! we're torn!

ON THE ONE HAND:

Canberra National Folk Festival 2012:

http://www.folkfestival.org.au/

- will have great kids festival
- Shooglenifty are playing, oooh yes they are....
- lots of other fabbo performers, all folky the way we loves it...
- husby wants a week in Canberra to study & I could send him on up then meet him with the kidlets for the fest.
- allure of the Famille Darthsideous to wave at

ON THE OTHER HAND

Byron Bluesfest 2012

http://www.bluesfest.com.au/

- Roger Daltrey
- Crosby Stills & Nash
- Donovan (ok, maybe he's not as much a drawcard. Very funny tho)
- I just adore Byron Bay and as a southerner crave time up there
- they have a creche with qualified carers and my kid WANTED to go last year.

what to do....oh what to do....

She's Done it Again

Sis' has made a cakey for Dad's birthday on Sundee:

Phantom. Ghost Who Walks. Man Who Cannot Die. Which is kind of fitting, if you knew my father's health dramas of the past 12 months. Dont ask. But he's still here. Let us eat cake.

your turnses

now that we've opened the gates and turned this previously sensible blog into a chickfest of photo swappery and recipe sharing, I expect to see headless likenesses of all of you in favourite clobber before the month is out. rightyo.

threads

hola ladeeez. wanted to show off my new (old) dress ... just because I love it so much. you might need your sunglasses given there's a bit of twilight white skin showing :D anyway, circa mid 40's, in very dark blue complex and gloriously heavy but not hot crepe. and check out the self-covered buttons! even has shoulder pads and metal side zip, yay. swirly floaty knee length skirt. looks cracking with my red mary janes. sigh ... dress happiness ....

what was that you were saying about viggo's eyes, betts?

speaking of beautiful beardy men. this unit (hank cavill, the Real Edward) gives viggo a run for his child support money. just check out those lips ... viggo can't compete in that area, no sir.

You ask, we deliver...some Viggo for Darthy...

plenty of viggo?

if only

!

attenzioni where the puck is everyone? betty? wilma? jonesy? bikkies? smokey? new person?

...proof: i have an awesome geniarse of a sis

...Here's the cakey she whipped up yesterday for my 2 year old. She sent me thru these photos at midnight. Must have spent all day yesterday getting them happening.

It's Birthday Time....

Wish me luck, folks. Am having the 2 year old & the 5 year olds party at the same time today. Sausage sizzle at the local park/playground. With Kid A's kinder friends and with toddly's playgroup colleagues. It may be crowded, but it wont be at our place :D
in the meantime, my immensely talented sister has handmade cakes for both kidlets. here's her 'Princess Crown Cake' she's made for Kid A:

what hot days can lead to

As a direct result of the hideous weather here yesterday, I snaffled an armful of frosty looking flicks at one buck wednesday. this was first cab off the rank last night. oh.my.god. and I don't say that lightly. a really well crafted low-budget independent scarefest. and not a single bogeyman, spook, serial killer, supernatural event or otherwise. just another day on the piste ... gone horribly wrong.

Melbourne Weather

Is crazy...... 4 seasons to a day That is all that I have to say :)

School Holidays....

I be filled with excitement, husby be filled with trepidation...I've booked an unpowered campsite at Tidal River.
Wilsons Prom! Yeah! Cheap holiday in paradise
I love camping. Kids'll go nuts for it. Husby will curl into a foetal ball and endure.
Everyone pray for good weather for us please....we need no rain, around 27 degrees, sunny, post Christmas for a week.

speaking of yulefest ...

the uhmericans are square dancing in the dumbdumb place over the yays and nays of it all, so I thought I'd wax yuley here - by way of a vox pop. I've been party to a few disgruntled mater eruptions by the school gate just lately, and thought I'd share. these cranky outbursts are essentially to the effect that xmas now costs - apparently - your average fam roughly $3000. and they say it goes up every year. que? really truly, what's the matter with these peeps? and how in jeebers name is it possible to spend $3k on one day? I could do a wedding AND xmas for that price, and have enough left over for a honeymoon (a camping trip, granted, but still!). anyway, in my gobsmackedness, I did a bit of a list for this year's lockdown and came up with roughly $400, and that's only if we feed the mob. so the plain old gifting side of things is less than last year, which was less than year before that, which was less than year before that. having said that, doesn't matter far back I go, we never came close to even $1k, let alone 3 times that. as I'm heard to say at this time every year ... god bless vinnies, home-baked treats, and handicrafts :D

anyone for summer?

if so, you can have my helping. we're utterly over it and it's not december yet. abject misery here .... what feels like 100% humidity and above 30 degrees. same yesterday, and day before, and day before that. standing still is an effort. all you can do is mope around in a darkened house and will those newly planted natives at the western boundary to grow rool fast - while perving lasciviously at pictures of snow and browsing real estate in taswegia. harrumph

Ray Martin Q&A

I happened to stumble across the season finale of Q&A last night, literally, I tripped over my television power cord and my 70 inch television screen fell onto my stomach, pinning me down with the screen facing me... I won't bore you with the details of my miraculous escape, using a concoction of a doomsday device, fireworks, and the phenomenon of magnetic polarity... but getting back to the topic at hand Ray Martin was on Q&A last night, and because (IMO) he used to host a show that was catered to DUOF (Dried Up Old Farts) I thought he was a very right wing conservative guy. It turns out he is the only Australian on Australian television who I have ever seen (the parts that I have watched anyway) quote Hunter S Thompson! He seemed like an alright kinda bloke. As a result my respect for Ray Martin went through the roof, just before my television did (On a side note my respect for Ray Martin did not travel back in time and fall before Constantine in 312, yet my television screen did).

the gothic wonderfulness of lexx. happy friday y'all.

UK Squeeze - Black Coffee in Bed (Stereo)

...I have been trying to remember this song for the last 24 hours...all I had was the final line running around in my head over and over. I was wondering- what was it about this song that was so important to me in my youth? When I rediscovered it, would the lyrics be fraught with meaning, showing the depths of my teenagehood? Well. Funky voice singing classic blues progressions. Lyrics about being back on the beat after she's dumped him. Deep. Still a stonking good song and vocal, tho with hindsight Neil Finn did a similar vocal style and haircut much better. Think I was listening for vox, soul and blues sounds as a teen, under all that hair and makeup. Keep an eye out for the Ted Dansen look alike on keyboards, giving the vid a distinct 'Cheers' feel......

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Flying

Found one! Flying Car for Smokey :D

Prefab Sprout - Cars And Girls

...Looking for 80s songs about flying cars....Prefab Sprout. Now there's a band i havent thought about for a werry werry long time. We just dont gaze compellingly at cameras they way we did in the 80s anymore....

Ghost Stories for Halloween

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
As Toddly would say....'Carey......'
Been meaning to plop a ghost story entry down all week.
What've we got, folks?
I'll start with:

- 3 years ago, when Kid A was 2, I was working in an aged care facility. I was at home after work, having a cuppa with friends Sarah and Mel, when Kid A walked into the room. 'Mummy', she says, frowning, 'I dont like that grandma'.
Mel, Sarah and I look at each other. 'These arent grandmas, darling', i say.
'Not them! The grandma! Over there!' She points to the doorway. The empty doorway....
'How long's she been there, darling?' I ask
'She came home from work with you' says Kid A.

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Race that Stops a Nation

.........so does it/did it?
Easy for us. We get a public holiday for the Melbourne Cup. Held the annual rellie bbq, had a cup sweep and a bbq and toddly let the chooks out.
Any ripples interstate? Was a very nice day...

Flying Cars

Hi y'all, I am kinda in a Dilbert office environ at the moment, minus the cubicles, I am also at pole position, i.e. everyone is sitting behind me... i.e. everyone is watching my computer screen i.e. watching my computer screen as if it is screening a movie to airline passengers... i.e. why I do not get on here nowadays... So anyway getting back to the topic at hand, we were all promised flying cars some time during the eighties. Then eleven years ago these flying cars did not eventuate, it seems, by my reckoning, that people have taken matters into their own hands and bought four-wheeled drives. Even though they are not cruising at altitudes of 3000 feet they are cruising an extra 90 centimetres above sedan, hatchback, station-wagon etc drivers.

slow death for blokes

"Old Plank Road" - Robin & Linda Williams

Speaking of Robert Altman, 'A Prairie Home Companion' would have to be one of my fave movies of the past decade or so. This is (one of) the bestest songs from the soundtrack, except this aint the sound track version- it's Robin & Linda Williams playing it live. I love love LOVE watching women (people, actually) play music just because they're great at it and they feel free to look like themselves and keep their clothes on and not pole dance or anything....
ps. lots o' yakkin. Actual song kicks in at around 2.40 minute mark

Gosford Park Trailer

.....the ubiquitous Maggie Smith challenges one to decide if one is watching Gosford Park or Downton Abbey....One day someone will make a period drama starring Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter and Sigrid Thorntonall at once and then we can all go home. this was a Robert Altman fillum, tho. And fabbo.

Happy Monday...

Well, we had tshirts on for a couple of days, then today the wind is icy, its hailing, everyone's walking around looking confused and wearing the winter woolies we were all about to pack away till next year, and the heaters are blaring.
Meanwhile, I read that Katoomba High School is closed and that some streets in the Blue Mountains are being evacuated due to bushfire. Bluddy L. I feel your pain, my friends xxx

so very more-ish!

call me anything, but don't call me late to dinner

now I know all too well that your average thinking bogan has long since done this dance, but I have my reasons for arriving at the scene of the crime long after the dust has settled. DOWNTON ABBEY yeah yeah, I was sucked in by the prospect of wall to wall early 20th century fashions and furnishings, I admit it. and lemme say before anyfink else, in this dept they succeeded beyond measure. I was almost catatonic with glee at the frocks, the hair, the whole warm, earthy unplasticness of it. having said that, it IS just a rehash of upstairs/downstairs, innit? if not then they have much to thank that heady drama for. of course we're updated for a 21st jaded bogan, what with a gay footman (as IF, said the queen mum), an earl's daughter enjoying a one night stand under daddy's roof with a TURK, no less, dysfunction not entirely comical in presentation (as per the 70's version), etc etc. have chomped through almost entire first season in a few days, and can't see myself slowing the pace. ordinary, but for the lover of 'stuff' circa 1910-1940, beyond gold! will rustle up a toob perve for the uninitiated.

dogs that are red, acting that is over

yep, dragged myself, the smallest fry and 1 x smallest fry friend to the bonza flick this past sunday arvo. place was chock full of elderfolk, and the two sprogs with me were two of perhaps five kids in the entire theatre. odd. anyway, thoughts: lovely dog. great soundtrack. the rest was an embarassment of riches, in the 'perfect diction with a funny ocker accent' department. the cast was utterly unconvincing as redneck oilfields blokes, and the clangers were thick in the dirt. at one point I believe character even mentioned broccoli. because of course every desert dwelling uneducated mine worker circa 1974 knew all about broccoli. laughably bad flick, but a good yarn and a coupla tearsies at the end for moi and the sprogs - dog lovers all. sniff sniff. did I mention how much I liked the dog?

felicitations

betty, wilms, smokey, jonesy. nods and waves. as busy as a busy thing here. not as busy as smokestack, but nearly. still, found time to seek out benicio edibles :p

revisiting old favourites and found this at the toob place

a silly little movie, but does contain a young and very beautiful benicio del toro - who, besides being turbo boosted eye candy, provides any and all comic relief. actually it's not that bad, and definitely better than your current rom com product. had it in the home library for years, but someone borrowed it and evidently decided that a captive benicio was worth the crime :D

No Maccas in the Hills! Power to the People, Right On!!!!

Veeeerrry satisfying evening was had by at least 600 of us last night, as we all fronted up to our local shire council meeting...the planning services department had approved the construction of a Maccas up here in the hills. Disgusting.
the council voted unanimously to reject it! YEAH!!!!
Our local greens council rep Samantha Dunn did a STELLAR job of decimating their application, as did the marvellous Tecoma Village Action Group, who had the common sense to pile some people specialising in traffic and road planning on board.
Fave moments of the council meeting would include:

- Councillor to Maccas rep: 'So...in this town of 2000 people, who do you think will use the restaurant? Macca's rep:'ummm...locals?' (appreciative guffaws all around...they received 1200 objections and there were 600 of us in the room- many folk couldnt get in b/c we hit capacity)

- Councillor to MacRep: 'Referring to your proposed plan, I see an enormous tree drawn at the front of the restaurant. Are you going to put that in for us?' Macrep 'Umm...that's an artist's impression' Councillor: 'Well, it's very creative then.' snort, chuckle...

- Councillor to room at large: 'I would like to table this letter from McDonalds to the Shire of Yarra Ranges Councillors, in which McDonalds remind the Shire Council that should McDonalds be required to appeal the council decision, it will be costly for the shire, and that we might be better off saving our money to spend on more worthy community projects. And I would like to in turn, invite McDonalds to spend money on our worthy community projects, rather than on appealing the council decision...' (prolonged applause)

- Councillor to room at large: 'this is a slow food region! Let them eat Maccas in the flatlands!' (Room erupts in cheers; MacRep looks genuinely confused; 'flatlands' being hillspeak for anyone who doesnt live in the hills...)

Hmmm. We havent won outright yet. More than likely they'll take us to VCAT. But a very exhilarating start. if all social activism was that immediately satisfying, the world would be a better place. Thanks again for your tip about The Blueys and Cittaslow, Darthy- I sent it all along to the action group, and folks are very interested. Someone sent me a 5 page document of your entire campaign- you lot got David Suzuki involved, which is pretty cool. The Blueys decision was invoked at the meeting by the local speakers calling on precedents, too.

Keep on truckin!

So anyway...

...a Higgs boson walks into my church on the weekend, a parishioner asks my priest "What is that doing in here?", my priest replies "We cannot have mass without it" Badda-Ching!

Sorry I cannot dally and comment on other posts, just letting everyone know I am still alive and well, but extremely busy!

Paul Keating Vs. John Howard - Censure Motion Reply

Over 100,000 views on youtube, my friends. We're all sitting around reminiscing about PAUL BLUDDY KEATING. Those were the days, when labour politicians might have worn italian suits but at least they sounded like labour policies coming out of their mouths. I wish someone would decimate Abbott like this...

Michael Jackson - Black or white ( Full Official Music Video )

Some contestants on the Xfactor did a nice little dance to this last night, which left me with a wish to crank out old Mr Freaky Deaky in all his brilliance one more time. Hmmm. Havent watched this since a kid. Actual song doesnt kick in till about 2.30 I think. Interesting final dance scene. Fred Astaire described him as an angry dancer...indeedy

Oi!

You lot still on holidays, or what?

Joy is

This spring day, last day of the holidays...friends early in the morning for a playdate involving lots of banana bread, seasonal blueberries, strawberries and giggling...still damp enough for a bonfire in the forest, so we worked on it all afternoon..took toddly to the shops, where he informed anyone who'd listen that he was a 'dancy boy', then followed it up with a pirate 'aaar!'...back home, from the bonfire we ate smoky roasted potatoes, singed sausages with sauce on bread and marshmallows. Kids covered in marshmallows and sauce, refusing to come inside because they're watching the rain on the fire...the reception centre down the hill must have a wedding on, because a string quartet is playing and the sound drifts up to our place...the forest is full of small wrens and finches going spring crazy; the forest is full...

True Grit- thoughts on original & Coehn Bros

Yes, I know what you think, Darthy. And I wouldnt be surprised if chatting about this smokes Jonesy out of his cave, because I know he's a True Fan of the original. But I watched the original again for the first time in years recently, and this is my opine:
The scripts are almost identical in places. So if you bag the script in the second, you bag the script in the first. Which leads me to wonder about the book...anyone read it? My guess is that both films are close to that.
John Wayne- his acting range is the acting equivalent of Lisa Mitchell's vocal range- she's made quite a career out of three distinctive notes. Having said that, JW is a true giant of the screen, isnt he? Poor old Jeff Bridges. What impossible shoes to fill.
Kim Darby and Hailee Steinfeld- are both completely and utterly awesome. Keep in mind tho, that Hailee Steinfeld was only FOURTEEN when she played Mattie. Kim was 21 and astonishing. But whovever forced Kim Darby to play the entire role with that glossy 1950s style helmet of a haircut needs to be tracked down by Rooster Cogburn and shot. It's an eyesore and completely detracts from her presence.
- I love the hollywood style grandeur of the first movie, and I love the visceral grittiness of the Coehn Bros version, combined with their nutty cameos. Both fabulous for their own reasons. Stilll dont see what anyone found saccharine about no 2. If no 2 is saccharine, then so is no 1 with that bloody haircut and the neat and tidy Wild West sets. Feel free to enlighten me...

giggle giggle well well well...

I'm banking on him never reading this....
Hey, remember me posting reminiscences about listening to the Go Betweens and being sooooo in love followed by broken hearted aged 18/ 19 ?
WELL.
I was sitting at the local pool watching kid A during her swimming lesson on Sat, when I hear "hi Wilma" (except he didnt call me Wilma)
...and I turn around- and it was the boy! 20 years older, sans hair, several kilos heavier, rahdirah...
His kid has swimming lessons at the same time as Kid A. Gold.
Need to add here that we're a long way out from the city- not many of our crew have moved here. It's more than unusual to bump into someone you know from years ago. And it's a small swimming pool.
So I find meself sitting chatting away about solar panelling with Mr ancient flame, whilst our kids splash around....
The world moves in strange ways. How very full circle. Pleased to say not even a twinge of stirring romance. Got rubbished a lot by husby when I got home & told the story.

the reason hitler was so upset

totally!

stand by for friday yootoob from the pen of buttocks

Why Time Travel Does Not Happen Much Nowadays

The problem with people sitting around waiting for information to come from the future, is they are sitting around waiting. What they should be doing is sitting around and sending information back to their past self. The problem with this, is if I sent information regarding last week's tattslotto numbers back to myself (which I regularly do), is SHS from the past goes and puts on tattslotto and then wins and then forgets to sit around and send the tattslotto numbers back to himself in the past, which means he does not win. That is the problem with time travel, least nowadays.

Bruised body and pride

Well the story would be much more entertaining if I had a good reason not to be able to sit down, but alas it is my own silly fault. Took a fall last night and now I have bruised pride (who at my age can say that in the space of 2 weeks can fall twice and injure themselves WITHOUT being drunk?) and have a great deal of body pain to add to the mix. Love it how the doc calls it "soft tissue damage." It is a bruise..... back of the hip and bum. Hence the lack of being able to sit down or get comfortable. At least my knee has healed from where I fell up the stairs last week. Hope that everyone else is fairing better than me health-wise. I am indulging in a pity party here for being so silly, and hating the fact that I have to stay home from work for a few days. Would be so much easier if I could work from home.

Collingwood Theme song

ONYA SWANNY! CARNA PIES!

Welcome Murfomurf

:D

This is cool to.

heeehee. The Bogan Kings of 80s Pop...

I had SUCH A ROCK STAR CRUSH on this man ...

...now when I watch this I'm just irritated that his backing vocalist Helen Terry gets so little screen time because she makes the song...

youth, revisited. not strictly 80's but close. 1979. (my kids LOVE the specials :)

another old fave. always dug this guy's voice - it's just gorjus!

ahhh ... happy happy joy joy! so many gems ...

more 80's - this time one of the best songs ever written. and the best example of the sexiness of drummers ...e-va!

another 80's passion killer - another wine please!

Mariachi Connecticut Serenades a Beluga Whale

This is verra gorgeous...my sis sent it to me...

Nigella the Pizza Boy

Meeting Jamie in a Strange Place...

2 3 4

What If Scenarios...

The other show I was watching the other day, coincidentally not on the same day as Beauty and the Geek, was Futurama. Futurama, not coincidentally, is a much better show than Beauty and the Geek... allow me to ramble once more before I attempt to make a point - right now I am following a stream of consciousness and I do not know what the final destination will be... animation takes a lot of effort, or at least it used to, that is why cartoons are awesome, as people have to really think about the message they are trying to give before spending 36 hour days re-drawing the same character over and over and over again, unlike blogging where a person can just ramble on for paragraph after paragraph after paragraph without actually making a point - like Beauty and the Geek... what was I talking about again?

Oh yes Futurama, and the episode where they look at some What If? scenarios... Here is my What If? scenario... What If Buttocks never told a certain member at a certain other forum to get pharqued? Where would we be now? That is, has this forum impacted on our respective lives enough to have actually changed the trajectories of our lives...?

Beauty and the Geek

I watched Beauty and the Geek last night... but let me waffle on about something else for a bit... people may enjoy some porn every now and then, but it is not the plot of the porn that is the attraction. For the most part a plot line to a porn movie is insubstantial relative to the rooting. Thus, a plot line of the average porn is usually as substantial as; a person from one walk of life, meets a person from another walk of life at a highly improbable destination, and like in some warped Brechtian fantasy, when the heat gets turned up, some weird eighties music starts from sources unknown... Which brings me back to Beauty and the Geek, the person who wrote Beauty and the Geek, obviously has ancestry within the porn industry; some weird looking guys, meet some dolled up tarts, and together they do some weird shit in an isolated mansion. The only thing missing is the rooting... and the weird eighties music which accompanies the rooting... Is that the attraction to the show? Do people watch it, fully Pavlovian conditioned in knowing that when strangers meet in a strange place some rooting will ensue. Thus they sit in front of the television, like well trained dachshunds, with one hand poised over their groin in anticipation of some spanking? The show obviously does not have any plot or point that I can tell, did I miss something?

Robert Pattinson. Oh, no reason.....

......just a cynical gesture to pump up page visits...
oh, and to entice darthy into talking to us whilst coping with all of her sneezy children...

Brisbane and its inhabitants.....

FINALLY......
ITS TRUE....
I now know that our lovely daisychain is not a chatbot, but the marvellous person I long suspected she was....up in Brissy on conference...arrived Thursday and thanks Lady Daisy for such a fabbo morning! Hope I didnt seem too jetlagged....I got up at 4.30 am to catch a plane and was the only idiot in Brisbane wearing tights and boots by 11am (no, not gumboots)
Very exciting to finally meet a fellow tenforwarder.
Bring on the Canberra National, i say.
Now. Back to my conference. See y'all 'pon my return next weekxxx

my friday contribution. god bless artie shaw!

The happy tale of administration

Person A has a job to do and can do the job.

Person B has no job.

Person B is given a job to help Person A.

Person B cannot help Person A.

Person B creates a complicated hierarchy of forms for Person A to fill out.

Person A has a job to do and cannot do the job.

Person A hires Person B to help Person A.

Person B can help Person A.

Person A and Person B both have a job to do and can do the job together.

cartoons and fatosity

did yooz avail yourselves of the current too-do re: cartoon characters applied to the externals of dud breakfast cereals? apparently, right thinking fibrous types want them bant on account of they make kiddies eat crap, and subsequently grow to immense proportions. pardon my ignoramousness, but surely 4 year olds haven't started doing the weekly shop? I know kids are growing up fast these days, but isn't that pushing the barrow a little too far out onto the autobahn? the last time I checked, mummy was buying the breakfast cereal. so it must be mums who are, lemming-like, drawn irrevocably t'wards boxes adorned with cartoon characters. in which case, shut up! until the angsters actually have the testiculars to stand up and say it out loud "PARENTS MAKE KIDS FAT", our poor youngens are going to be clobbered as eedyots. no child is an idiot, but plenty of parentals are. there, that's better :D

Oh Dear

Days of Silence....... My excuse is a paper for work. I'll be back around next week. What have the rest of you got to say for yourselves?

Where is she?

Darthy? Whachha doing? Where's those hot men you post on Fridays? You eloped with one? Do we need to stalk you via email? Did you disappear when SHS returned because you're really one and the same???? Anyone heard from her?

Hump Day

Gee I never thought that I would be so happy for it to be the middle of the week. Hope you are all well :)

Conan in 3D

After Conan the Barbarian (the classic film with Arnie) I wondered where they could go with a re-make. Surely the depths of Conan's character were well and truly explored in the first film (i.e. why there was not too much left to explore in the sequel - Conan the Destroyer). What dimension of Conan's character was left to explore in the Conan the Barbarian remake? The third dimension. The third dimension makes it possible to re-make all the classic 2D character movies into a 3D extravaganza! I want the Popeye movie remade...

Happy Fathers Day

.....Kid A made husby several works of art all about how much he loves spaghetti. (He hates the stuff and I cook it whenever he's home late & not eating with us)
Doctor has informed me own dear Pa that he canna drink no more (and there was much rejoicing). He's a ritualistic nutter, and he's just discovered that tea has tannin as well as wine. So I've bought him several high quality black teas and his own personal pot. WIsh me luck. I'll turn him into a geisha yet.
Husby's birthday is nearly upon me and I've spent up big & bought us tix to see QI live. Sometimes I think he loves Stephen Fry more than he loves me. So I'm easing off on Fathers Day gifts for him...

Circumcision for one's son

Yes?
No?
Maybe?
At what age?

ahhhh ... spanish men

anyone seen this? I LOVE LOVE LOVED it. sublime!

Omigosh

Husby arrived home late Monday night from work.
He put toddly to bed, then said to me 'our kids are fantastic. i'm really enjoying them at the moment. They're at a beautiful age. Not only do I love them, but they're really nice people'
:0
He hadnt gone mad or anything as far as i can tell. Just having an attack of benevolence. Highly unusual. Very sweet. Then he made me a cup of tea.

We need names for our chooks

..........all ideas gratefully accepted.
kid A came up with Twinkle, Flapflop and Roly, but she's gone off em.

Hello?

Hello? Does anyone like post in here? :)

Enjoy your Monday :D

War in the Hills

maccas is currently trying to get themselves a gig up here in the hills, and needless to say there is a large groundswell against it...They've bought the land that two GORGEOUS restaurants currently lease and they're going to knock them down. So we're going to lose the hemp shirts and lentil burgers at Hippy Haven, and the awesome Indian food at Saffron Cottage, in one fell swoop. Just in case ayone was in any doubt about just how insidious that company is, the site is, of course, almost directly outside a primary school. Because when you move to a township near a national park, you want your kids to go to school where they're going to stare at golden arches all day in the playground. Grrrr. I wrote a loooong letter to the council and it took them over a month to respond. Which hopefully means they've been overwhelmed by the complaints...if anyone wants to write a letter of complaint from interstate simply because the whole idea of Maccas infiltrating the hills is so evil, let me know and I'll send you the details.....fight em!

Yes I am still alive

...hello my lovely lovelies, so many days, so little time to blog wid u all! How goes it? Havent read back yet, but will just as soon as I've finished this entry.
So....about a week & a half ago, our computer upstairs really really crashed, maybe for good this time, taking with it the paper I'd been writing to present for work and which had not been saved to a USB stick. Which would have made me quite ill, if I hadnt been ill already- whole fambly has a chunky snotty cough and we seem to keep re infecting each other. Winter is just that one month too long, in my book. So my situation has been that I dont have a computer up in the general childcare area where I spend most of my time; the only internet in the house at the mo is downstairs in the music studio. So I'm currently crouched down here, in between towering stacks of hubby's sheet music, old photos and chairs waiting to be restored, with the heater on full blast because we have adopted 3 baby chickens from Kid A's kinder and they need the heater on. Because they're here too; tucked inconveniently just behind my chair. This is not conducive to regular blogging. Our whole weekly routine seems to be galloping along at a crazy speed and we havent had a final diagnosis on the upstairs computer. And we dont have a chook pen yet either. The chickens and the computer are getting a little muddled in my brain at the mo. Never mind.
Oh yes, the talk for work. Which was always ambitious, but vaguely possible when I had the upstairs computer. I'm about a 2 thirds complete. Need to keep writing, need to get my powerpoint happening. So it's still possible. its just that there's chickens involved now. And now I shall go read what you've all been doing whilst I've been away. Cluck cluck.

Stuck

Have talk to write for work. Have sent toddly off to family day care so I can write, Kid A at kinder.
Feel as if I havent blogged properly here all week, but today is not the day...love to you all...see you on the other side..

TGIF

wanna come over for a chick flick night, girls? there'll be cake ........

the perfect antidote to dud straying marrieds roms

try your best to ignore anna paquin's apalling narration. what were they thinking!

suck eggs!

review, for your sins

yesterday whilst perusing the one buck enjoyments, I thought to my very self "hmmm ... perhaps another bold foray into the land of rom, without the com?". will I never learn? will I? never? for MY sins, "cairo time". patricia clarkson, who specialises in a worried face and angsty middle age, plays opposite that rascally ex-trekker, alex siddiq. long suffering 50 yr old wifey agrees to meet long absent UN social worker type hubby in cairo after his lengthy stint on gaza strip. she arrives, he's late. very .. very late. so late, in fact, that she has time to almost nearly but not quite fall madly in love with the aforemention ex-trekker, who in this role is a former UN colleague of hubby's, now cafe owning egyptian (not bad for a blighty born and raised pakistani derived lad) who wears 'dresses' and smokes a hookah like a pro. what seemed like hours of moody glamour shots of scenery and pyramids and colourful yet inexplicably clean street markets, random inconsequential and never seen again secondary characters, and no fkn resolution! ie, they don't even KISS. where's the pay off in that? 0/10. and not just because she just worriedly dreams of fooling around and doesn't, but because it's an awful, awful movie. possibly some of the worst writing and directing I've seen in ... gee, yonks :D nope, if you want a rom based on straying marrieds, the only way to go is "a walk on the moon", where the pay off is not only all there, but it's paid by viggo. num num, lick lick :p

love this one :D

AFP Hall of Fame « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

the scary thing is, I quite like these frocks - tragic hippy that I am.

AFP Hall of Fame « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Hey, I'm sick of our pollies...

...and I have nooooo idea what this pommy journo and polly are arguing about....but it's a universal language, innit?

Rear Window

..just one more from awkwaard family photo.com.... so very wonderful... Rear Window

You Must Visit This Website..

Awkward Family Photos.com. I could have watched a dvd tonight; instead, husby and i flicked through this website and larfed till we cried.... 10/10 Saturday Night Specials « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com
hmmmmmmmmmmm. I clicked share, but it's just posting the link to our blog....stayw ith me whilst I sort it out... or click on the link if you like...

something to w(h)et your appetite

bear, improved

this week I had the notion that a dose of reality telly might not be amiss. found "man, woman, wild" on the new release tv shelf and thought it too good to be true, in the comedic sense of things. husband and wifey team up and hurl themselves into improbable situations in far flungs, and tough it out for 4 days at time - armed with a knife and not much else. very different stuff to mr grylls, in many ways, but yumourously the same in others. for a start, the dynamics of having two makes it much more interesting to watch, as our heroes bicker, banter and canoodle variously. she's a blonde english lass of rubenesque build, he's an ex special forces medic of native uhmerican extract and ridiculous biceps from kentucky. chalk? cheese? yeppers. both mid-forties, so comfily middle-aged smart arsey, which is noice. seems more 'real time' and natural, and they both make mistakes and drop balls etc. she vomits alot, for some inexplicable reason, and even more inexplicably, they show it full frontal, every time. tasty. he doesn't do any running down mountains and poncing about like mr grylls, but he does do the 'code yellow' narration for much of it - which is annoying. silly, like most survival type shows, but not so silly that I haven't enjoyed every minute of it so far. all in all they're a likeable couple, and it's good to see allegedly tough peeps freak out in perilous sitatuations and/or gag when confronted with something inedible. on the reality telly scale, 9/10.

new staff at work

Shit, fuck, holy cow! My new assistant it doing my head in. I am constantly silently repeating the serenity prayer just to get through the day with her around. Either someone has to give me a gun (for myself not her) or build me a bigger BRICK wall in my office so that I can smash my head against it!

ponderings from the mount

smaller persons at my house have been workshopping the insy outsy of uhmericas current fiscal woe. it's been an edumacation to evesdrop, I tells ya. #2 has decided it's a result of too much shopping (STOP SHOPPING!), number #1 claims it's not enough. this, I might add, is deeply counter intuitive to the parentals - given #2 loves nothing more than a good hard shop, whereas #1 would sooner poke sticks in his eyes than enter any sort of retail emporium that isn't JB Hifi or an Apple Superstore. any junior theories from north and south?

slightly shop-soiled but newish blood

I've bubbled wrapped and express posted a cheery invite to the uhmerican bloke, so let's all wave non-threateningly. waves at gaines. welcome to upside down town. tis moi, butthead. cunningly disguised as a yumourous monty python character :)

Dunno about you lot, but winter's back :(

Icy rain and wind, and I have a sore throat for the occasion.
Kids are very pleased. They can pretend they havent heard me ordering them around.
'No standing on the couch', she whispers.'Dont hit your brother dont bite your sister stop eating the butter stop shaking sultanas all over the floor dont swing on the staircase no you cant have six apples before bed even if they're good for you because they'll give you a stomach ache so put them all back you're big enough to put your own pyjama top on without help the reason we're not making invitations for your birthday party is because its August and your birthday isnt till November thats months away now go back to bed honey I cant do this anymore can you talk to them?????'

Hey, the Blokes seem to be AWOL

???Smokey? Mr Jones?Ou sont vous?
Any ideas,ladies?
Last email from smokey said something like 'in this place where I am, the internet is restricted'
....the mind boggles
Last post directed at me on this site from Jonesy contained the dire warning " I am a wolf in sheeps clothing' or words to that effect.
Then blank.
......
Ideas for recruitment? We could do with a few more posters.

Jane McKee Johnson Spring Is Bustin' Out All Over

Alright, I'll stop now. My point is, its all very spring like here...

George E. Salazar- June is Busting Out All Over

Bless his little curlers.

June is bustin' out all over - R&H's Carousel 1956

The Weather is doing it to me

this week in boganry

hola, cupcakes. it might not interest you to know that this week I made one my first forays into the world of purchaising recycled clobber online. I've dabbled here and there, but always found vinnies up to speed so never needed to hit the bid button. first up lemme say it's a revelation to see what utter crap some folk try to pass off as useful and desirable, it roolly is. the next kicker is the fact that anything remotely worth having is obsessively bid upon by frenzied and probably ebay-addicted hipsters the country over - thus rendering my position impossible. take the doc martens boots I had an eye on recently. every sally and her feet apparently wants used 8 up docs. no hope! now I've moved on to vintage tooled leather shoulder bags - but they're hotter property than the doc martens, and by the time you actually 'win' one that would otherwise cost $10 at vinnies, you've forked out $50 for the bag and another $15 for shipping. it's for the birds, it really is. but on to my initial point. the sheer weight of ed hardy clobber available for the undiscerning (ie, prepared to wear used clothing - which is normally anathema to your average bogue) bogan. ebay is drowning in the stuff. wtf.

hoop jumping

anyone have the drum on all these new hoops we have to jump through to find this joint? and still more to post? or, is it just me? :(

Meanwhile, it may be winter, but...

Today, the sun is shining as if it's just remembered that highly intelligent early civilisations worshipped it. Gentle balmy, fragrant breezes; the kind you only appreciate after months of icy blasts. Kid A wore one layer less to kinder. To top it all off, the wattle is out and the daffodils and camelias are all doing their thing. It may still be winter, but I'm sensing spring....

monday

I've still got friday on my mind.

topics of the month meld. hansard, torchwood, and homoerotica.

because I've got friday on my mind :p

rain

Oh me oh my I am in HEAVEN! We finally have rain that feels like winter over on my side of the country. Thunder, lightening, storms and RAIN! Talk about being in a winter wonderland!

the impact of geography and culture on music

is moldova near latvia?

having said that, this is one of my all time fave eurovision moments

nup, it's my all time favourite on second thought. the crazy eyes, the unco leg action, the latvinglish. ahhhh eurovision, we love you :D

perhaps not

west of here

did yooz know that ten latvians have perved upon our doings this week? hola, latvia! loved your eurovision effort this year. I think.

Pandaemonium - a snippet

on drugs and genius. not me, them.

coincidentally, last night I watched a flick called "pandaemonium". a bbc effort of some years back - on the rise and fall of samuel taylor coleridge, and his enduring relationship with bill wordsworth. descent into opium fueled madness, run-ins with byron (and what a gorjus actor they used in this role ... anyone who's ever had a byron 'thing' should watch this), socialism, politics, sex, but most of all the death-destroying power of literary genius. while there's plenty wrong with this piece, for the most part it's a heady, swoony, hallucinogenic and shambolic flight through life as a deeply cool poet at the turn of the 19th century. tripping out on 'thorn apple' in the countryside attired in full regency clobber, being anti-consumerism 'let's start a commune' 'down with war' political, etc, the evolution of 'the ancient mariner' and the jealousies evoked by same. gorjus stuff, when you can ignore the flaws, with plenty of work recited throughout.

Amy Winehouse - Valerie

Addiction is a helluva disease....what a waste of talent. this cover is one of my fave Amy moments.

the girl who played with ni-nighs

yep. it put me to sleep. don't think I even got to the half way point, in fact. was a poorly (hurriedly?) put together episode of 'law & order for clog wogs', with gratuitous lezzie love, a brunetter and older mike nyquvist, and the formerly awesome looking lisbeth now resembling a skanky heroin addicted hooker. crap. 3/10. the three points just for not being uhmerica.

DVD thoughts: The Social Network

Almost as addictive as Facebook itself. Jesse Eisenberg, is it? Fabbo, plays Zuckerberg. Does Zuckerberg have Aspergers? This character as written does, surely. Sharp writing, convincing characters. (This film is notably short on any decent female characters- is that really the world of Zuckerberg?)Film manages to convey an eerie sense of (shudder, I'm going to use the word...)ZEITGEIST. This is happening, this is now, kids in their 20s are playing on computers and visualising and creating means of communication whereby half a billion people are all chatting to each other and in the process, making these very smart kids into billionaires. And these very smart kids are racing around betraying each other, except its on a billion dollar scale, rather than ripping a mate off when giving his change back at the pub. And when a visionary does something as passe as drugs, he's dropped by his disinterested peers.
...in my lifetime, the role of music in youth culture has never looked so bleak. Visionary Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake, ironically) boasts that (by founding filesharing site Napstar) he has been instrumental in bringing down the music industry, but I dont see any of these characters as interested in music as a reflection of their culture or way of life. The soundtrack to the film is superb, but what also caught my ear was the use of the Beatles 'Baby You're A Rich Man' at the end of the film; a nod to the last group of precocious boys who changed the world through their vision- only it was their musical vision. And here I was, hoping that some other young musicians would come along and change it all again, and instead the lads have rocked up and changed our lives via computers. Sigh.
Oh. And the film's funny. 9/10

Butt Darthy, for you of course :)

on leaping, found this morsel at imdb - for your enticement

"I am a guy, so this is hard for me to admit, but I really, really enjoyed this movie. A beautiful travelogue through Ireland with the infectious Amy Adams and the amazing (and underrated) Matthew Goode. Honestly, this is one of the best romantic comedies I have ever seen. It doesn't try to be more than it is, it's just simply a funny and uplifting story, very well told."

Movie Review: Mr Poppers Penguins

The last hoorah of the holidays was daughter and self traipsing off to see this offering. Jim Carey's in it. This announcement was enough to have hubby and my mother gagging, looking at me pityingly and saying 'rather you than me..'
So: Movie is a whimsical tale and was probably a cute novel about a divorced chappy whose crazy explorer father sends him some penguins, who end up reuniting him with his family. Then Hollywood got hold of it and because it was made in 2010, Jim Carey is starring; if it had been 10-20 years ago, Robyn Williams or Bill Murray would have gotten the gig. Angela Lansbury plays an eccentric old lady, which is typecasting for you. Would have been a 6/10 without Jim Carey. Gets a 4.75/10. Hang about. Extra points for being the first film that wasnt an animation that my child has ever sat through. Ok; 5.75/10

the hollywoodised trailer

review x 2

what with an absent bloke at the present minute, I took the opportunity to chomp down some easily digest rom coms. cold rainy nights, kids asleep early due to back to school exhaustion, hot cup of organic chai, etc. anyway, let's just say it's a hazardous endeavour, sifting through the latest batch of awfuls, it roolly is. without workshopping the question overmuch, I'd say you'd be looking at a 1 for 6 strike rate, roughly. and you can just never ever tell by titles! case in point being the two I watched last night. "my girlfriend's boyfriend". independent, small budget, interesting cast, twisty turn plot. sounds good, right? wrong. beyond dreadful. dreary, pointless, chemistry-less, life wastage. can't even be bothered with a synopsis. 0/10. then you have "leap year", which is a dire title for what turned out to be a really lovely little flick. a couple of silly moments (see flying shoe hits bride in head), but overall everything a romcom should be. hoity toity boston girl (played by amy adams) with long time cardiologist boyfriend decides to take matters into her own hands when yet another year passes with no proposal. boyfriend is off to ireland for conference during a leap year (!), so she hops on a plane with the intention of surprising him with a proposal of her own - as per the old tradition of women proposing on feb 29. naturally, she strikes trouble in her quest, and is thrown into the care of a surly irish pub owner in a remote village, who happens to be the spectacularly gorgeous matthew goode, with beard (you just don't see enough bearded men on film these days, more's the pity). tall, dark, irishly lilted, taciturn, funny, clever, cranky, mischievous, etc etc. there's just no possible way that our heroine couldn't fall insanely in love with him under the circumstances. anyway, without revealing more, it's a well cast, well acted, tightly directed piece, shot mostly in rural ireland. predictable, but in a sweet and enjoyable way, with some lovely subversive moments to remind us that it's not hollywood. 8/10.

hypothetical

this morning I inspected a very lovely house on a half acre plot of old gardens with dry stone walls and such. big house, built in late teens, wide oak-ined hallway, immense rooms with fireplaces, original casement windows with window seats. totally a-mazing. thing is, as required by law, the listing agent was obliged to disclose that the last occupant was murdered - in the house. yep. murdered. in the house. your thoughts?

true syrup

well now I been workin' on the particulars of .... hoik .... this one for a goodly while now. me and mr buttocks partook of this fable just this past weekend and, not to put too fine a point on it, the thing didn't take. it almost took, here and there, mostly in the general vicinity of mr bridges and a modicum in the vicinity of mr damon. but everwhere else the spielberg 'hollywood ending' sledge hammer was, essentially, rammed up our clackas, then twisted. waaaaay too much unprovoked shootery (as per betty's nod) and way too much sookery. my position, as it stands, is that I wanted to love it but found marself unable. mr buttocks put it this way "poor mans deadwood". while I don't hold with that viewpoint as such, it's clearly desperately derivative of same, but with none of the sublimely realised restraint. I blame the whole mess on spielberg, of course. the coens can do no wrong, after all.

Image via Wikipedia

Kylie: mutton dressed as lamb.

"Hey, senor Pedro? Civilisation! Listen..." Miguel said as he too the Multiband radio away from his ears and handed it to Pedro.

"Riders on the Storm?" mused Pedro putting his hand down into the saddlebag to get out their map, the donkey coming to a stop yet again on the track down the side of the mountain, Pinto and Punto having decided between themselves to part company the night after Miguel had discussed with Pedro whether Punto would ride as well minus a leg.

Things had got pretty grim holed up in that cave before they started to get better. The ponies had first eaten the bedding before starting on the canvas rucksacks that were attached to the saddles. With no firewood, bedding and fearing their blankets would be next, Miguel had half-jokingly remarked, while eating a mouthful of from the last can of cold Heinz baked beans wit vegetable sausages, that Punto's hindquarters would keep them going for a week or so.

The ponies, after eyeing each other nervously until the two compadres fell asleep, silently made their exit and headed in the direction of Kylie's entourage, knowing deep in their hearts that she was a world renowned lover of animals in distress. Without their saddlebags and other paraphernalia, there was a certain lightness to the heaviness of their being as they made their way back over the pass without the two amigos quite easily.

After some nondescript mutterings from the local DJ in the regional dialect of where ever they were had finished, John Fogerty's voice started to blare out across the valley as he sang of visions of a "Bad Moon Rising". A smile beamed across the both Miguel and Pedro's faces in recognition as they both broke into song and the donkeys resumed their slow journey down the goat track just wide enough to carry them and their load. Pedro turned up the volume only encouraging Miguel to sing louder in his think southern Peruvian accent, complete with some frozen snot hanging from his left nostril. Happiness was slowly returning to our friends as they continued their long journey down the side of the mountain in the beaming morning sun.

Image by bagsgroove via Flickr

Dinkie as a young man with Dunkie in the background.

By the time the song had finished and the DJ reduced the tempo to a gentler pace with Marty Robbin's rendition of 'El Paso', there was a steady pace of the donkey train as they all descended together towards the valley below. Both Pedro and Miguel were happy to have resumed their trek towards Thailand. In fact, Miguel had convinced the donkeys to carry for them on the promise of some fresh Mango and virgin flesh as soon as they arrived at their retreat. Pedro was sure he had seen the older donkey smile at the suggestion. Whatever, there was certainly a twinkle in the eyes of Dinkie and Dunkie, as Miguel had christened the rather dilapidated donkeys, delighted .by the promise of renewed vigour in the warm rainforests of the coastal delta.

To be continued....

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