oranges

yesterday ... and yeah I know this is totally not kosher, but he made me do it ... the toolkit and I ventured into the nearest "fruit" superstore. you see toolsworth had privately workshopped the idea of podding our spawn this festivus - much to my quell horreueueuer and surprise. the whole setup is designed with one thing in mind ... brainwashing. get 'em hard, and get 'em young, should be their motto. the minute you trepidatiously crossed the threshold, wondering all the while if indeed you really want to enter a place so patently and slickly designed to confound the over 25s and delight the under 15s, a red clad under 25 bounds up to you with an ear to ear grin and carries on like a right pork chop .. just as though he was your BFF fo-eva! I found myself wanting to scream back at our red fool, my frown as fierce as his grin, "WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK OFF!" instead I smiled politely and pretended I couldn't speak english. in other words, left him to toolshed. the minute he bounded off I muttered all sorts of colourfuls in the general direction of the co-parent, to the effect that none of it was worth the sheer pain of being in such a place. have any of you been into one of these dens of craziness? there is no 'counter', nor cash registers, nor any sign of any sort of moneyed transaction being possible or indeed, wanted. they go to huge lengths to make it seem almost as though it's just friends exchanging gizmos and 'learning together'. there are plenty of apparent 'workstations', and get this ... no seats. anywhere. just bank after bank of stand up tables covered with tethered fruit. and of course, 40,000 glassy eyed nerds. I hated it, with sugar on top. sorry steve.