this bogan life

extenuating circumstances (a lack of size 12 boyswear at vinnies) forced us into the catacombs of satanplaza this week. naturally, we elected to go on tuesday, along with every human in the southern hemisphere - and all their mates. first of all I want to ask .. WHAT THE FUCK?!?. the place had only been closed for a few days, but it was though the junkies had been locked up in rehab then released with $500 and a clean teaspoon. the sheer weight (and overweight) of the crowd had mr buttocks steaming from every orifice, and the kids semi-catatonic with the sensory overload. anyway .... we decided, stupidly - it transpired, that best and totally less might have what we needed. after a good 15 minutes spent trying to find a single garment not emblazoned with "bad boy" or pics of Sk8rs or skulls in motorbike helmets, kid #1 announces "it's all boganwear" in disgust and requests immediate departure. which was deeply hilarious to the parentals, but nevertheless pointed to a problem in the kiddyclobber arena. emblazonment! again, WTF! outside of spending a motza on high end (and unemblazoned) stuff, you're stuck with ed hardy or it's ilk. every last thing is boganstamped. as a result, we spent 2 hours scouring every emporium in the joint just to find unadorned long sleeved t-shirts, uncargo-ised jeans, and a utilitarian zippered hoody. it was like panning for bloody gold! is this a local phenomenon, I wonder? or is it rampant in all spheres?