betty's dismay at yesterday's rantings moved me to contemplate the umbilicus for whole minutes this morning, so thought I'd come back and try again sans spitty vitriole :p
it's like this, see. we hobnob at fairly regular intervals with a couple (a stinking rich couple) who unfailingly fail (!!) to consult their fellow Large Group of diners and dictate ... right at the very end - never at the outset, that The Bill Shall Be Split Evenly. I don't know how they manage to wrangle this manouvre without someone more considerate cutting them off at the pass with a cheerful "X and Y and Z are a bit skint, so not tonight", but manage it they do. on the one occasion someone tentatively suggested perhaps it'd be better if we all paid for our own hooverings, the female half of the couple sneered and scoffed loudly at the proposition, and said something like "let's all be grown ups" (you already know what my position is on just how un grown up this behaviour is, but I'm tryna be gentle in this post ... ).
anyhoo, as we've now been booked for three (all at pricey joints) meals with these folk in coming weeks, I'm already pissed off ahead of time at having to think about how to cut them off at the bill splitting pass. I shouldn't feckin have too, innit. but since I do, and will undoubtedly be acting on our own behalf and that of our less well heeled brethren, I've been swimming with Bill Splittage haters. it fired me up just a little bit :D
so ... here's my sunshiny solution. arrive early and let staff know there'll be separate bills for each family or couple, and to keep track thusly. that way if Mr & Mrs Loaded show up brandishing only their gold amex, no probs, they have their own bill. too easy!
as yooz were.
No dismay on my behalf, merely a lack of spare moments to collect into a time frame sufficient to address your qualms in an appropriate manner. And my wordy response?
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indeedly doodly. For one, I'm down on obligation, & hobnobbing for ole-times sake or social delicacy. The beauty of moving a million metres from spawning is the ability to free oneself from rellies & aquaintances of the duller variety.Saying that, it's not possible to totally avoid social interaction with bores.
The trick is to be the innovator in such transactions, & book a place that does a set menu. If it's 3 courses for $25, that's AOK for most, & drinks can be purchased from the bar as you go.
Option 2 - bistro. Lining up, bogans, & pokies might be hard to avoid, but at the bistro, folks can order their own dish & fork out up front, saving that nasty bill on a plate business at the end.
Option 3 - flick Mr & Mrs Foncyponts. Go on, you'll enjoy it.
Option 4 - order pizza, & using a protractor, calculate the angle of each slice & apportion the cost accordingly.
Option 5 - sounds like it's too late for option 1 - 4 this xmas, so the only alternative remaining is to get in first - as you suggest. Announce up front that it's the Mahatma Ghandi (or substitute suitable deity) method of payment this year, & each man pays for his own order.
GOOD LUCK!
option one and two out - my lot would NEVA go to a set menu joint. bistro, prolly ditto, but less so. pizza and protractor sounds good, but :D
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