Windows 8

Commentary from a Windows 8 tutorial:
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Why can't they just have a goddamn "start" button?
I don't want to update my xbox avatar or see the cricket score or follow celebs on twitter or plan my next holiday - I need to work!
Why can't I just hit an "x" in the top right hand corner to close ? - swiping down is an action reserved for nappy changing.
I've got Apps oozing out of my nostrils. Overload!